Now Playing Tracks

  • *hears noises at night*:

    well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

  • *gets shampoo in my eyes*:

    I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

  • *heart is beating fast*:

    I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

  • *a cop walks by*:

    here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

  • *taking a test*:

    don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

  • *gets a sunburn*:

    great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

  • *tripping over something*:

    I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me

  • *period is late*:

    shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

If I’m comfortable with you, I’ll:

jiidesu:

niicolodean:

  • call you names
  • tell you weird and personal details about myself
  • say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb
  • type in caps a lot.

If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and:

  • talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts 
  • share funny photos from my tumblr dash
  • actually tell you when i’m upset 
  • try to make conversation with you 
  • just generally act really silly when I’m in a good mood
  • tell you jokes even if they’re bad 

pinkerasers:

sectumsempera:

stranger-touch:

So no one told you life was gonna be this way

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Your job’s a joke

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You’re broke

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Your love life’s DOA!

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It’s like your always stuck in second gear

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When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year but….

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I’ll be there for you! When the rain starts to pour

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I’ll be there for you! Like I’ve been there before

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I’ll be there for you! 

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Cause’ you’re there for me too….

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sobbing

i need a moment

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